Best Friends
by AnimeAddict4Life
Summary: What do you do when the man you love is not who he says he is? Your best friend is dating a stripper, your other friend has been crowned leader of the asian mafia and your last friend may be pregnant? Ask Skull, this is his life with his best friends. Warnings - Corny humour the writer is very sorry, but they have the worst sense of humor going


Katekyo Hitman Reborn Fic

Rated: M

Yaoi & Het

Title: BestFriends

Chapter 1

Luce stared at Skull in a sympathetic manner, "That bastard Tamaki didn't deserve you anyway," she said trying, and failing, to comfort her friend.

Skull ignored her and continued to try and suffocate himself with a cushion as Mammon laughed.

"How about we all go to that new club that just opened? We can drink a little, flirt with a few bartenders and Mammon can have a one-night-stand with some sleazy, married, rich guy and hopefully get rid of his bad attitude for at least a week." Lal Mirch offered, opening up the ridge and grabbing a bottle of water.

"First of all, I refuse to go to any club with **That** like he is," Mammon said pointing at Skull, "Second, how the hell are **you **getting into the hottest joint in town on a **Friday** , I mean **I** can but my good looks only work for me." Lal Mirch rolled her eyes. "And third, for your information I've only had one, one-night-stand in my life."

Luce, Lal Mirch and Skull stared at Mammon, "Okay twice," They continued staring, "Three times," More staring, "Fine four, but that's as high as I'm willing to go." Lal Mirch, Skull and Luce snorted.

"So, we all in for tonight?" Luce asked staring pointedly at Skull. The Violet haired punk glared at her through heavily made up eyes, "Yea, I'll come. Don't have anything better to do anyways." He mumbled, turning back to his cushion.

"Okay, it's decided then, Operation: Go out and party is in effect." Luce declared standing up and skipping to her room.

As she skipped past Lal Mirch and Mammon, huge flowers appeared behind her as well as smiley faces.

"You say that as well, right?" Mammon mumbled to Lal Mirch, "I see it, but I don't believe it." Lal Mirch mumbled back in response, glancing down at her bottle of water.

"Anyways," Lal Mirch said perking up, "Mammon can I borrow-" "No," Mammon cut her off. "But you didn't know what I was gonna ask for" Lal Mirch said with her puppy dog eyes in full throttle.

"Okay, what were you gonna ask for?" Mammon asked, pouring cream into his coffee.

"Well I was wondering if I could borrow your ripped leather pants, pwetty pwease?" Lal Mirch asked, clasping her hands together in front of her.

"Let me think about it...No!" Mammon said, standing up and walking to his bedroom with his mug. "Why not?" Lal Mirch asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Because, last time you borrowed my clothes I had cum stains in places cum shouldn't be." Mammon remarked opening his door, "That wasn't me that was Skull!" Lal Mirch said glancing to their friend. "Please refrain from dragging my name into your bitch fight, thanks." Skull said from his place on the couch.

Mammon glanced at their friend, "Still, the answer is no." Mammon said closing the door behind him. "Mammon!" Lal Mirch shouted walking over to his door.

"Mammon's not here right now leave a message after the beep," Lal Mirch glared at the door, "You supposed to say beep!" She said.

"I'll say beep in twenty years, when I actually have time to listen to your bull shit!" Mammon replied.

"BURN!" Skull shouted from his place on the couch, Lal Mirch threw a glare at him over her shoulder then continued to try and burn holes in the door with her eyes.

"Lal Mirch, if your ass is not ready in an hour's time I will slap you into next week." Luce said from her room.

Lal Mirch gulped and fled to her room, Skull snickered on the couch when Luce continued "Oh and Skull, if you're not ready to you'll be joining her."

Skull's eyes widened and he hastily stood up and ran upstairs to his room.

* * *

"Okay, how the hell were we supposed to get in again?" Mammon asked shoving some, badly dyed, blonde girl out of his way.

"It's all good, I've got the hook up, remember" Lal Mirch said pushing past a group of girls that looked like they were in their teens.

Skull curled his lips up in distaste in what they were wearing and refrained from asking them if they raided goodwill on the way here.

"Oh there's Seiichi, Mammon be nice." Luce said, pointing to a guy a few feet away. "Oh Come on Luce, give him something he can do" Lal Mirch said shuffling forward towards Seiichi.

Seiichi stopped them and stretched his hands out pulling them towards the door.

"What were you guys doing back there? Come on I'm only single for another four hours!" He shouted over the loud music that was spilling over from the club.

"It's okay Seiichi, I got the hook up, watch" Lal Mirch said, waving at the bouncer.

He narrowed his eyes at her then nodded and waved at her, "Let's go!" Seiichi said walking in front of them. "STD ridden slut," Mammon mumbled following him.

They got to the entrance where another woman looked Mammon up and down "Excuse me I believe her was waving at me," She said sticking her nose up in the air.

"Actually he was waving to me, heffer!" Lal Mirch said butting in. "HEFFER! Did this bitch just call me a heffer?!" She asked her friend behind her as she undid her earrings.

"Yes, she damn well did, what the hell are you gonna do about it? You fake haired slut, I bet there's more sense in your plastic surgery boobs than your head!" Skull said giving her the 'bitch please' look.

"OH HELL NO! I'm about to set it off up in here. Zombie hoe here did not just call you a slut, did he?!" Ugly Friend 1 asked sneering at Skull.

"What the hell did you just call me?" Skull asked steeping forward, "Zom-bee Hu-ow!" She said stepping forward as well.

"That tears it!" Skull said as he pounced at friend 1, grabbing a fist full of hair.

Immediately a brawl broke out, Mammon punched the girl straight in the nose and grabbed her hair, slamming her face repeatedly into the ground.

Lal Mirch kicked friend 2 in the stomach, sending her flying while Luce and Seiichi beat friends 3, 4 and 5 into a bloody mess.

"Hey, hey you guys stop it!" A voice cried from the door as soon the friends were separated.

"Here ya go, slut!" Skull shouted, throwing a fistful of bloody hair at the friends, they all glared at him and he stuck his tongue out.

"Hey, Hey, Hey. Calm it down. I seriously don't need police coming around the club right now, kay?" A deep voice asked Skull.

Skull looked up and came face to face with a smiling man, he was about 6"2 and had his long black hair plaited going down his back.

He wore a red jacket with a white shirt and pants and, not that Skull would admit it, looked rather good.

"Who might you be?" Seiichi purred, trailing a finger around his chest, "No-one who would be interested in you Slut" Mammon remarked straightening himself out.

Seiichi turned to Mammon, "Talk about the pot calling the kettle black, I'm not the one who treats men like the wind, here one day, gone the next."

Mammon glared at Seiichi and went to hit him but Luce held him back.

"Maa, Will you guys stop fighting if I let you in the club for free?" The dark haired guy asked. Luce, Skull and Lal Mirch nodded.

He smiled "Okay, by the way my names Fon." He said leading them inside.

Luce gasped as she saw the interior, "Oh my gosh! I love the décor, it's seriously chic" She said looking all around.

"That's a Picasso original on the wall over there," Fon said pointing to a wall on the left, "My friend, the owner loves European art, you'll find a lot in here, even some tribal African if you look close enough."

Luce smiled brightly and opened her mouth to say more when Skull beat her to it. "Hey Fong,-" "It's Fon" He interrupted Skull, making the violet punk glare at him.

"Whatever. Do you know where the bar is?" Skull asked with as much politeness as he could muster up. "Far right," Fon replied, "Can't miss it" Skull gave him a small smile and walked away.

"Don't mind him, he just broke up with his boyfriend" Lal Mirch said, Fon nodded in understanding and Lal Mirch continued, "Hey, is there any strippers here?" She asked, scanning around.

Fon smiled slightly and replied "A shows just started, just keep walking straight you can't miss it." Lal Mirch nodded and walked away.

* * *

"One Bloody Mary, extra vodka." Skull said to the bartender. Immediately Skull saw skilled tanned hands start mixing the cocktail.

"One Bloody Mary coming right up" A deep husky voice said placing a glass in front of Skull. The voice sent shivers down Skulls spine and he glanced down to stop the bartender seeing his scarlet cheeks.

"How is it?" He asked stooping down to Skulls level, Skull glanced at him and stared, he was an Adonis.

The bartender had well defined biceps and a sculptured chest, easily seen through his white poet's shirt and yellow embroidered black waist coat.

His neck led up to a gorgeous smirking face. He perfectly arched eyebrows and a steady obsidian gaze, Skull thought that his curled sideburns were indescribably hot.

A black fedora with a orange stripe around the bottom of the cone topped off his ensemble, and shaded his eyes making him look even more dark and mysterious to Skull.

Skull quelled down his nerves and schooled his face into a blank mask. "I've had better," Skull replied hoping his fast beating heart wasn't apparent on his face.

The bartender quirked an eyebrow, "Really?" He said leaning closer to Skull, "Yes, really," Skull replied, blowing slightly on his ear.

The bartender leaned down till he was right against Skull's pulsing vein in his neck then whispered "Are you talking about the flirting or the **cock**tail?" Before sucking viciously on Skulls neck, then pulling away with a plop leaving a plum purple hickey in his wake.

Skull stifled a moan and instead glared heatedly at the bartender.

The bartender smirked then asked "What's your name? I figured I should know if I going to saying it when I pound you into your mattress as you scream my name."

Skull quirked a finely arched eyebrow and breathed in his ear, "My name doesn't matter, you can call me Skull." The bartender smirked, "Reborn." He breathed in Skulls ear, before attacking his neck with him lips.

Colonnello gazed down at the spectator with hunger in his eyes.

He licked his lips as he eyes widened, as the tantalizing flesh of his chest was exposed; it did nothing to sate the innate hunger within him.

She gazed at him in a defiant way and he just smirked back as his shirt went flying into the crowd. She was with all the virginal and desperate people wanting to be seen were at the front.

She kept his attention for the whole of his set, all 30 minutes of it, and as he left the stage he gave her the universal shake of his head. He was as interested as he could ever be in a one night stand, if she was any good he may even ask her to warm his bed again. **IF **she was any good.

He took his time getting dressed and by time he was back within the confinements of clothes and in the bar, the crowd had already been ensnared by the next act.

Everyone, but her.

He smiled at her, his caring happy façade in place, but she just gave him an unreadable look and turned her attention back on the scantily clad dancer grinding against thin air.

'Note to self; Tell Reborn the slut needs to be fired.' He though to him self, they were trying to run a clean, classy establishment. He walked to the girl till he was face to face with her.

"Hey," He said, bringing the tone of his voice down slightly lower in a way that sent girls crazy.

He inwardly smirked when he saw her shiver, but frowned when she didn't even turn to look at him, but instead refocusing her attention in a different part of the club.

'Oh, so you wanna play hard to get then?' Colonnello thought. He grabbed her arm and without warning, pulled her flush against his body.

"My name is Colonnello, I don't think we've had the pleasure of meeting before, no?" She glared up at him and hissed, "No we haven't and I'd like to keep it like that, thank you VERY much."

She pulled her hand from his grip and then turned to walk away. Colonnello found his patience breaking, he wasn't Fon and she was really starting to piss him off now.

Usually, when someone said no, on those very rare occasions, Colonnello left them alone, but there was something about this one that just sang to him and made his blood boil.

Colonnello grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to him.

He rarely executed his dominance over someone else, he liked to manipulate their feelings and emotions instead, but there was something about this girl that made him want to growl at any man who looked at her and take her right here in front of everyone to prove his position.

She whimpered slightly but murmured out a shaky, "L-Lal M-Mirch." Colonnello nodded in satisfaction, "Okay, Lal Mirch, how 'bout you and I get acquainted over a bottle of Dom Pérignon in the back?"

Lal Mirch nodded and opened her mouth to say something when a voice cut her off, "LAL MIRCH! There you are you cow!"

Colonnello turned to see a beautiful brunette walking towards them. Her rage a clear contrast to the drunk, addictive atmosphere to the club.

"What the hell do you think your doing? He's a STRIPPER, basically a gigolo- No offense"

"None taken." Colonnello said, waving his hand in the air, he did act like a slut.

"Okay, but seriously, he could have AIDS, HIV, STDS –"

"A small Penis"

"Yeah a sma- Seriously Mammon?"

"Excuse me! I can assure you I do not have a-"

"What ever, all we're trying to say, well mainly me, is that you don't know the guy, sleeping with him is the most stupid thing you could do right now. So that's why, we're taking you home…Now."

The girl grabbed one of Lal Mirch's arm, the guy, Mammon, took the other and the hightailed out of his sight.

Colonnello would of cursed or broken something if he didn't find the sight so amusing.

Colonnello stared at the business card he had swiped from Lal Mirch's pocket.

'Lal Mirch, self defense expert. Lessons between 4-7.30, Mon – Fri. Call, ********* for a free trial today'

Colonnello smirked and pocketed it. He never let prey get away from him. Well, not too far away, after all the fun was all in the chase.

* * *

"I expect this kind of behavior from Mammon, not you Lal Mirch, when we get home you are grounded!" Lal Mirch stared at Luce as if she was crazy and Luce just sighed.

"Lal, I just don't want to see you hurt by some gigolo prostitute with STD's. That's all."

Lal Mirch nodded, "Luce, he's a stripper not a prostitute and I doubt he has anything because, in that line of work you need to get tested regularly."

Luce nodded, but she didn't stop the worrying, what if looks from passing across her face. Lal Mirch just sighed and Mammon wisely said nothing.

Luce had lost her parents to AIDS a couple of years back and she hadn't been the same since. She became more serious and easily worried if anything went wrong.

"…Um guys, where's the Skull?" Mammon asked, glancing around the car, expecting him to pop out somewhere.

Lal Mirch turned around, "I thought he was with you?" Luce nodded with that sentence but Mammon shrugged, "Nope, I was cruising for guys with the slut, I thought he was with you."

Luce stopped at a red light and turned to face the rest of her friends. "Well, shit." She said echoing all their thoughts; they had left a drunk, heartbroken submissive, in the dominant lions den with no protection…

"Well, he's fucked." Mammon said, and the all nodded. He was fucked, literally.

* * *

New story since I needed a break from kings and queens, hope you like.


End file.
